someone: it’s okay! you tried your best!!
me, with no idea of what my best even looks like anymore:
I HATE YALL
You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum.
Im sorry he wrote a fucking what
Anyone else remember that Canadian reality TV show where two contestants with zero experience get left in the wilderness and have to get out while that cowboy tracked them down on his horse ? And the contestants had to outrun and hide and they’d see him galloping over in the distance and they’d just get so scared and start sprinting into the bushes but they would always tumble down a hill or something and hurt they’re legs and the cowboy would catch up and lasso them??
I wasn’t kidding
fellas what is it about thor that when I look at him I think “lesbian icon”
its the fact that he’s a lesbian icon
Thor: can I buy you a drink?
Lesbian : actually I like girls
Thor: Wonderful! I like them as well. Would you like to join me in buying drinks for beautiful women?
Thor looks like he gives great hugs and will let you cry on him when your girlfriend leaves you and then sets you up with an Asgardian hottie who treats you like a Faberge egg.
I expect nothing less from a man who wanted to be a Valkyrie
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